


Oh Captain, My Captain

by writerwithoutstories



Series: Long Live The Mechanisms [1]
Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, The Mechanisms-Typical Violence, also technically this is polymechs, anyway happy one-year anniversary to dttm, but they're not the main focus so i'm not putting it in the tag, by which i mean there's guns, do not come for me bc of the title, i hate that i can use that tag, i've never watched dead poets society in my life, not tagging jonny bc despite it being about him he never actually shows up, the major character death is permanent in this one, this is like part character study part me just having all of the jonny feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:21:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28862469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerwithoutstories/pseuds/writerwithoutstories
Summary: They all feel it, when he dies.
Relationships: Jonny d'Ville & Nastya Rasputina, Jonny d'Ville & The Mechanisms Ensemble
Series: Long Live The Mechanisms [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132157
Comments: 16
Kudos: 42





	Oh Captain, My Captain

**Author's Note:**

> if their mechanisms were all connected so they could feel each other die Would That Be Fucked Up Or What  
> i don't think there are many content warnings other than the obvious (character death, mourning/grief, mechs-typical violence etc.) but if you do need me to tag anything just let me know

They all feel it, when he dies. Most of them don't realise immediately - they didn't feel anything when Nastya went Out, after all. But one by one, it dawns upon them. 

An irritating stab behind Tim's eyes, making him lose focus for the first time in a millennium. 

A disconnected wire in Ivy's brain, trying to access something that is no longer there. 

Brian's entire metal-encased body jolts, only once. 

A runaway bullet pierces the med bay's walls as Marius clutches his arm, the gun having fallen out of his grip. 

Raphaella doesn't fly often, anyway, but suddenly she notices how stiff her wings seem, how maybe she couldn't take off even if she wanted to. 

Smoke clouds Ashes' vision as they are forced to put the cigarette down, almost doubling over under the force of the coughing fit. 

The Toy Soldier can't pin the needling pain down, coming from somewhere deep inside it. This is ridiculous, because It Is Wood! It doesn't Feel Pain! But still, it thinks even though it doesn't have a brain, the pain that can't exist feels very much like it's coming from its non-existent heart. 

Even the starship itself, whatever may or may not be left of the one her crew once knew as the Aurora, notices the absence. 

Jonny d'Ville is dead. This they all know to be true, even if they don’t know why. The first of them, the worst of them, he was often called. Annoying, dramatic, mean, pretentious. All of which was true. All of which they would never have changed for anything. 

Later they will find out exactly how it happened - how in death as well as in life Jonny was a reckless idiot, charging with no plan or purpose, violence his only joy and cause. That he laughed when he realised what was happening, the rasping, echoing laughter they've each heard a million times. That no one even bothered to move the body, as he'd taken out nigh the entire populace of the asteroid with him. 

For now, though, they all gather in the common room, a heavy silence between them, some kind of broken understanding. For now, Raphaella clutches Ivy as the Archivist recalls with perfect, minute detail every single interaction saved in her mechanical brain about one of the very first people she met when she woke up lying in that laboratory, all memory of her former life gone. Sometimes the others interrupt, to complain or explain or just to remember. 

Raphaella’s thoughts drift off while she listens. She doesn’t like emotions much, never has. She feels them, of course – fascination at a potential new discovery, gleeful happiness when she gets the results she was looking for. Guilt. Only a faint shadow in the history of a person she is no longer, the guilt used to be almost incapacitating. Leaving her emotions behind was one of her favourite things about becoming immortal. Now, though, she feels irritation, confusion, above all grief, knives tearing into her with not a single dulled edge in sight. 

Tim is restless. His fingers drum on his goggles, twitch toward his gun, shake in place for a few seconds. Finally he gets up and shoots blindly at the wall. He hasn’t been concerned about aim or safety for a very long time, but even despite that everyone can see that now is different. The bullets rain in every direction, and still it isn't enough. The rage within him blazes on, finding no relief nor catharsis in the steady rhythm of gunpowder that echoes throughout the room. The Aurora doesn't complain as she usually does, only gives a subtle, discontented hum. 

Knowing that there is no point in trying to calm him, Brian simply stands and puts a hand on Tim's shoulder, waiting for the inevitable moment that it'll come crashing down and Tim will collapse into his arms. His own grief swirls in the back of his mind, waiting to come out. He pushes it far down, grounds himself in the steady droning of Ivy's voice and the erratic gunshots going off beside him.

Ashes sits next to Raphaella and Ivy, eyes shut, lost in their own memories. Face in a mask of indifference, they look almost peaceful. They aren’t, though. They feel as much as the others, only in a different way. Brian pretends, but even he cannot truly subdue his feelings the way Ashes can. The sadness is there, though, alongside a mad kind of pride. _He really did it, the madman._

Marius isn't destructive, not in the same way Tim is, but he itches to do something nevertheless. He wants to jump up and scream, wants to curl up in his room and cry, wants to reflect the bottomless storm inside him. His metal arm has found Raphaella’s hand and is squeezing it as tight as he can without crushing her, while with the other he plucks the strings of the nearest instrument, Tim's guitar. It helps, to an extent. Anything to quiet down his racing thoughts. 

Ivy, quite literally, has a head for numbers and files and data. She’s never really known how she’s supposed to feel, if she even used to feel Before. All she knows is that she does now. Her brain has processed the new information with ease, and already she can feel the mourning becoming part of the routine, just another obstacle. That’s not what she wants to happen. He doesn’t deserve that, to be only a burden to overcome. So, she lets the sorrow stream out instead, layering her voice with it as she recalls every moment, as clear in her mind as it was the day it happened. Her own form of a goodbye.

The Toy Soldier sits there, wondering. It hasn't ever had to pretend anything quite so complicated before. A bright smile splits its face for a mere second, then the wood contorts itself into a downcast grimace. How Strange! ~~The Captain~~ (First Mate, Tim had told it to call him First Mate) is gone. This, the Toy Soldier decides, is very bad. He cannot come back again, which is possibly even worse. All of this makes the Toy Soldier very sad, which it should not be. It shouldn’t be able to feel anything at all.

When Ivy finishes, it has been a long time. Or maybe it hasn't been any time at all. None of them has ever been able to tell apart millennia from minutes, for why would they need to? Until now. Now they need to reconsider many things.

Tim has tired himself out and is sitting on the floor, knees drawn close to his chest. He holds onto Brian for dear life, who in turn has his other arm wrapped around Raphaella and Ivy. the Toy Soldier has been pulled into a desperate hug by Marius, next to whom Ashes sits pressed close, eyes still shut. Such as they are, the absence in their midst is even more glaring, and they all feel it. 

It is Ashes who finally breaks the silence. "How many times would he shoot each of us, you think, if he saw us like this?" 

Slowly Tim raises his head, apprehension in his voice. "Let him try. Self-important as he is, the wanker, least he could do is let us mourn him properly." 

"If Jonny were actually able to witness us in this state," Ivy cuts in, "there is a less than ten per cent chance he would only make fun of us for being 'such sentimental bastards' instead of shooting." 

Ashes smiles. "Y'know what? Reckon I'll take those odds."

* * *

Several galaxies away a body drifts lonely through space, holding a small piece of metal between calloused hands, a bittersweet smile on her face. She has been asleep for a long, long time, blood running even colder out in the wastes of space. Except then, for one moment so brief she might’ve imagined it (she didn’t), her blood burns hot and bright, chilling her to the bone. The smile stays in place as she lets her eyes drift closed and embraces her love one final time. She can let go now, nothing more tethering her. She can rest. Her last words fall as a whisper from her once-again cold lips. “до свидания брат”

**Author's Note:**

> "до свидания брат" = "Goodbye, Brother" at least according to google translate lmao


End file.
